THE ACRONYM GOLD
“We are all made from this ancient and rare material . . . gold . . . it’s in us all!”
It was during the last Olympics this commercial frequently ran claiming that we all have the element of gold in our bodies — and that the “highest concentration was in the heart . . . 0.2 mg to be exact” So thought provoking! What do advertisers know that will motivate us to buy? Whatever they know stirs me up! I once talked with a woman whose story also provoked strong feelings in me — in fact, it has become personally life-changing.
She was showing me a picture of a little 9 year old girl she had cared for as an infant. This woman had worked as a neonatal nurse and formed a special bond with this particular girl and her family while caring for her. She explained that the girl had been born with so many physical problems, all she could do, even as a 9 year old, was “lie there … basically trapped inside her body.”
What she expressed next was profound! She said in her experience with families who faced similar challenges, the parents who are best with these children are the ones who were able to see the “essence” of the child. Shazam! “Essence: the basic, real and invariable nature of … that in being which underlies all outward manifestations and is permanent and unchangeable … the very substance of.” The parents who are able to see beyond what their daughter is unable to do! Being able to value who she is! Her interests, her personality, even her innate strengths!
Have you had anyone invest in knowing your essence? A teacher, friend, parent who was able to see through to a positive quality you didn’t know was there? Who were they and what did they see in you? Or, you may not be able to identify anyone — yet. But that doesn’t mean it’s not there — “Gold it’s in us all!” Unfortunately, we’re all trapped inside of our bodies, because our bodies include our brains. And our brains are programmed from day one with the distorted reality — value and acceptance is earned. But the reality is, like gold, our value is inherent in our essence, who we are! The only real question is do we realize it to the extent we participate in the process of discovery and refinement.
How about you? Are you curious enough to begin to ask, “Who am I – really? We can’t get essence captured in a sonogram. But we can follow the clues to the treasure becoming progressively more aware.
What if we take the word “gold”, making it the acronym, GOLD? You could then use it as a matrix to explore, even discover who you are. Remember, with this paradigm, your GOLD is made. It’s innate! It’s given to you. And it’s “permanent and unchangeable … the very substance of!” Therefore, none of us can take credit for it. But we can, and I believe, we are responsible for, choosing its discovery and development. This GOLD can be hidden, even lost, until it is discovered.
GOLD, or who we are, is comprised of God-given strengths and consistent patterns of thinking, feeling and interacting with the world around us. Since these are innate, you can see evidence of them beginning when you were a very young child. Here’s an overview:
Giftings: talents, aptitudes, abilities
Outlook on the world: the personality type through which we view and interact with the world
Likes: our interests, and ultimately, passions which energize our actions
Drivers: values which we absorb from life experience through our gifting, outlook and likes; navigates us toward a purpose.
Giftings
Giftings are our natural, God-given aptitudes. You can think of them as the “engine” of the “motorized vehicle” that you are. (Remember, with this way of conceptualizing identity, you were made and are valuable. A BMW didn’t make itself. Bavarian Motor Works did.)
Howard Gardner proposes the theory that as human beings we have 9 types of intelligence. One he categorizes as “musical smart.” I think of my friend, Becky, who as a teenager would sit down at a piano with her grandfather and pick out the melody of a contemporary song. He may not have even heard the song before but within minutes they were both playing a duet with chords they had developed “by ear.” By the way, Becky’s grandfather had a blue collar job as a machinist. And he was so gifted, he not only used machines, he designed and built them! Gardner would say he had “spatial intelligence” or “picture smart” as well as “musical intelligence.”
Strengths Finder is an instrument used in the business management arena to assess a person’s natural talents for work settings. One of my youngest daughter’s identified strengths is Restorative which is characterized in part by being energized solving problems. Her lead strength is Empathy, enabling her to instinctively sense what someone is feeling. Combined together, she has an amazing ability to enter into problems with an ear for solutions. She frequently is called on by friends to apply that talent in their interpersonal conflicts. Recently she was selected from among an exhaustive list of candidates because the employer perceptively realized these talents were valuable to the company and they had been unable to find the combination in other candidates.
Outlook
Outlook is the lens of our personalities through which we view and interact with our world. It is the “drive train including the ‘wheels’ and ‘transmission’ of the ‘vehicle’.”
The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is one of several personality inventories. It categorizes me as an Introverted Intuitive Feeler and Perceptor whereas my wife is an Introverted Sensor Thinker Judger. Part of being an INFP is a preference to “think and speak in leaps and bounds,” whereas ISTJ’s “are specific, linear and literal.” When we’re on the same page together, we complement one another well. If you will, I move around to find various “forests” and my wife has the hard-wiring to identify efficiently “which trees to cut down.” For example, I can see how a home landscape project could improve the experience of the undeveloped part of our property. My wife has the ability to delineate the practical steps in the process so the dream becomes a reality.
Likes
Likes, interests and ultimately our passions are the “fuel” which energizes our “vehicles.” Without the passion energizing us, life becomes what “we’re supposed to do” versus what we long to do. You can even put the wrong fuel in your vehicle, e.g. fear or anger, which works temporarily but eventually “burns out your motor.” On the other hand when we’re energized by joy, we are able to push through challenges, even extreme adversity with a sense of purpose.
One of our grandson’s very first words, if not the first, was “ball.” He continues to love to play with any sports ball while his brother’s creativity results in his ability to create stories out of Legos.
Our son loved sports early on. In fact, his second grade teacher told us once that regardless what writing assignment she gave, he would inevitably find a way to reroute it to the topic of baseball. As a 12 year old, he came home from school one day and announced to his mother who he was going to marry. When she asked who had struck such affection in him, he replied the girl who had just been voted female athlete of the year. Why? She was his pick so he could be the father of Olympic athletes.
Now in his role as a public school coach, his passion for sports often fuels him for perseverance. It’s not always easy interacting with adolescents and parents who, at times, don’t pursue their athletic dreams in the best ways. (By the way, he did recently marry the high school women’s soccer coach!)
Drivers
Drivers are the “steering mechanism” on your “vehicle.” It’s a set of values which I believe we absorb from life’s experiences through the filter of your gifting, outlook and likes. These life experiences have happened since early childhood and were unplanned by you. But because of who you are, they were assimilated into a pattern of behavior which can guide you with life decisions – if you’re not “asleep at the wheel.” In other words, this steering mechanism can guide you through those challenges and obstacles in life, prioritizing your choices. They can, all the more, navigate you through life’s storms of adversity and the narrow straits of ethical dilemmas. This results in your operating within the personal integrity of who you are. Examples of values are: education, family, personal development, adventure, service, faith and honesty.
I am very grateful for the father I had. He was the youngest of six and grew up on a farm in central Texas. I once asked him what was his favorite Christmas memory. He said each year he most looked forward to his older brothers and sister returning home with their families for Christmas. This was the value of family.
My Dad really admired his older brother, Frank who went on to get his doctorate at Charles University in Prague. Initially, he taught high school sociology and then went on to a career as a college professor. Neither my Uncle Frank, nor my Dad or other siblings knew English before they went to school. In fact, their parents relied on their native language Czech throughout their lives. Since my dad was the last one at home, he obtained a driver’s license when he was 13 so he could drive to nearby communities to employ extra farm hands needed for the harvest. He would also frequently translate for his parents not only with the farm hands but also others in the community. Through these experiences I see my father absorbing the value of education.
Church was an important place not only for spiritual but also for social connection for my dad. This was largely because the church services were conducted in the Czech language. During my father’s involvement with his church as a teenager, faith took on more significance in his life. He and his family sacrificed for him to attend a church-sponsored school one summer. It was there he had a profound spiritual experience and a calling to a career as a full time church pastor. His faith began to have real-life value.
Instead of becoming a pastor, World War II happened instead. After serving four years in the Army Air Corps, he moved to work with his brothers in South Texas. They were building a thriving post-war family business and welcomed my father’s involvement. He was earning a good income working with them when he met my mother.
My mother’s faith was very important to her, also having had a profound spiritual experience as a teenager. You see, my father was not yet completely working out of who he was and my mother knew that. Once she heard of his earlier calling to be a minister, she challenged him to act on it. Their first action step after getting married was to move out of state so my Dad could attend a faith-based college followed by seminary.
Much fruit and joy came out of the 50+ years they served churches together. To this day, I have fond and profound memories resulting from my father being true to who he was designed to be.
How about you? Are you ready? There are so many excellent resources you can find online such as Strength Finder, 16personalities.com, typeinmind.com, Strong Interest Inventory, and authentichappiness.com which you can use as tools to explore who you are.
It’s so typical, and understandable to take comfort in “we’ve always done it that way before.” Life is hard. It’s so very tempting to take the well worn rut of least resistance. To go with the flow of the overwhelming majority striving to “be somebody” so that we are valued and desired. I appeal to you, don’t apply that to who you are and your value. Instead, be curious! Investigate! Explore! See who you find!